The other night while I was up for a 3 am feeding with my son, I ran across someone’s intolerant, offhanded remark on Facebook about the “gay agenda.” Having some 500 odd Facebook friends, I expect and enjoy a mix of status updates, and realize a few are going to irritate me occasionally (you people who always post the vague and dramatic “Why is this happening?!” or “I don’t know why I even try!” posts just to get a response? You need to stop. Now.). Maybe it’s just the fact that I’m so hormonal that simply hearing the first three notes of “Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy)” will send me into a sob fest, but the post so upset me that I spent the next few hours writing my first blog in 7 months. So here is a little list of popular arguments against gay rights and my response. Yeah, take THAT, Mr. Bigoted Facebook poster.
It’s a Choice
Remember that time at the seventh grade dance when you were debating about going after the girl that smelled like Designer Impostors Malibu Musk or the boy in the baggy size 28 insert-cool-jean-brand-of-your-era here? Yeah, me either. You don’t pick who you are attracted to, which is why I ended up with a guy who mumbles things like “We really need to get moving on that JQuery project” in his sleep. I can’t choose to be gay any more than a gay person can choose to be straight, and believing anything to the contrary is just plain ignorance.
It Violates the Sanctity of Marriage
Though it’s been on the wane for quite some time, I’m pretty sure the “sanctity of marriage” officially curled up and died the day FOX aired “Who Wants To Marry A Millionaire?” With divorce rates in the 50% range, 22% of us having affairs, and 95% of us having premarital sex, where does the straight community get off condemning anyone for anything in the committed relationship or sexual purity department? And as far as the actual sex part goes, I have been to the adults only section- I know some of the stuff you straight people are into, and it’s not exactly Lucy and Ricky wholesome. What people do in their own bedrooms is their own business, and as long as it only involves consenting adults, I wonder: Um, why is it that you care, exactly?
It’s Against The Bible
There is a reason our government was founded on the idea of separation of church and state, and civil marriages are different than religious ones. While you may choose to live your life based on the teachings of “The Good Book,” the United States government was founded as a secular institution. And please don’t get all Michelle Bachmann on me and say that the founding fathers were all exemplary Christian citizens with visions of America as some sort of Christian utopia….when they weren’t having affairs with their slaves or writing their own version of the Bible that leaves out the divinity of Jesus. Furthermore, and no disrespect to anyone’s belief system here, but if you think being gay is “against the Bible” have you read some of the other passages?! Like the part in Deuteronomy 22 when it says that a man who rapes a virgin must marry her (and pay her father) because he’s violated her? Or have you ever thought about the fact that some of God’s favorite people (Abraham, Solomon) have multiple wives/mistresses and God was ok with that then, but affairs and polygamy are all considered “against the Bible” today? If we’re going to be literal about the old testament we need to be literal about ALL of it…which means you need to stop wearing your husband’s old t-shirt to bed if you’re a woman and stop eating at Red Lobster, period, even during Endless Shrimp. I don’t remember Jesus saying anything at all about gay people, but I do remember him saying “love your neighbor.”
I think it’s fair to say that most gay people only want the same societal rights enjoyed by straight married couples, like tax breaks and health insurance benefits. I’ve yet to see any gay couples protesting on the steps of St. Whatever’s Cathedral because they can’t get married in a certain church; in fact, I strongly believe churches should be able to marry whomever they choose based on whatever criteria- my own parents were actually not allowed to marry in a few churches because of the unexpected early arrival of yours truly. It works both ways.
The Gays Are Trying to Destroy The Country with “The Gay Agenda”
To me, “The Gay Agenda” is kind of like Grimace of McDonald’s fame- we’ve all heard of it (him?), but none of us know what it is. There’s lots of negative talk about gays wanting to further said agenda, and the general consensus by FOX news anchors is that if this happens the country is going to go down in flames faster than you can say “Richard Simmons.” I think Barney Frank debunked the gay agenda mystery nicely last year when he described it as, and I paraphrase, protection against violent crimes driven by bigotry, the ability to get married, get a job, and to fight for our country. Nowhere does it mention trying to make everyone else gay or forcing people to watch back to back episodes of RuPaul’s Drag Race. See, now that’s not so bad, is it?
I Don’t Want My Kids to Learn About Gay People
Well, I don’t want my kid to learn about bigoted people, so we’re even.
Maybe that’s a little harsh. But like it or not, gay people have and will exist in the future. And so will lots of other people and things you may find even more unpleasant. Your child is bound to meet a few gay people in their lifetime, and like me, they may discover that (gasp!) they’re not much different than the rest of us, albeit often more stylish and better dancers.The best you can do is share your own beliefs with your child and trust that they stick—and hopefully the beliefs you choose to impart leave a message of love, tolerance, and acceptance of ALL people, even if we don’t always agree with them.
In short, the marriage of a gay couple down the road affects you about as much as…oh wait, IT DOESN’T AFFECT YOU AT ALL. If you don’t believe in gay marriage, attend a church that doesn’t preform them and don’t get one yourself- your beliefs and mine should end the minute they infringe on the rights of another.